by If you grew up in the 80s, you might remember some collectible figurines by the name of M.U.S.C.L.E. They told us that this meant “Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere,” but they were just Kinnikuman figures localized for a US audience.
We never got the anime or manga of Kinnikuman, but we did get the NES game, Tag Team Match M.U.S.C.L.E., made by Bandai.
So, will it win the championship belt of NES Wrestlers, or was it a Kinnukubust? Let’s find out.
Gameplay
Let’s start with the controls. The A button attacks and tags out when you are at your corner, the B button jumps, and the Start button pauses the game. The Select button lets you choose between playing against the computer or against a friend.
Now let’s discuss the good, which isn’t a lot. There is a pretty decent selection of wrestlers from the series, and they are all recognizable. If you get a booster ball, you can use a special attack unique to each character. These are also mostly recognizable to those who know the source material.
We have Kinnikuman with his Kinniku Driver, which is performed by getting behind your opponent and hitting A. Terryman with his Calf Branding, which is performed by facing your opponent and hitting A. Warsman with his Bear Claws, which is performed by hitting B to jump into your opponent. Ramenman with his Killer Karate, which is performed by facing your opponent and hitting B and then A. Buffalo Man with his Hurricane Mixer, which is performed by facing your opponent and hitting B. Robin Mask with his Tower Bridge, which is performed by getting behind your opponent and hitting A. Geronimo with his Tomahawk Chop, which is performed by aiming at your opponent and hitting A. And finally, Asuraman with his Asura Buster, which is performed by getting behind your opponent and hitting A.
Let’s move to the bad and ugly. The controls are extremely clunky. Whenever you attack in any way, you stop moving for about a full second. Punches take just as long to recover from as jumping off the ropes. There are 3 ring types in the game. This doesn’t sound bad, as more variety in stages is usually a good thing. However, the options are a normal ring, an ice-covered ring, and a ring with electrified ropes. The basic stage is already bad enough to play on; playing on the other stages is even more of a headache.
The health system is weird. You have 5 orbs representing your power. You become slower and weaker as you lose orbs, which makes sense. Eventually, you can’t jump and move at a snail’s pace if you have 1 orb. However, if you turn the fight around, suddenly you start gaining health out of nowhere. It isn’t explained and is very inconsistent. Also, your tag-team partner starts with only 4 orbs instead of the 5 your main fighter has.
One weird thing is, if you read the manual, they translate Ramenman as Larmenman. What makes it even stranger is that most of the other characters are translated accurately or at least reasonably accurately.
I give the gameplay a 3/10.
Graphics
The graphics are passable. The characters look recognizable, and you can tell what everything is supposed to be. This puts the game above many other games of the era.
I give the graphics a 5.5/10.
Music
The music is really mixed. What exists isn’t terrible, but most of the time, there is no music. It plays at the start screen and between matches. Even the few tracks the game has are very short and don’t replay. To me, a Kinnikuman fan, the worst aspect is that they removed a good 8-bit rendition of the Kinnikuman theme song from the Golden Mask arc from the US release.
I give the music a 4/10.
Difficulty
The most difficult aspect of the game is the controls. The CPU opponents seem to have trouble with them, too. I stood still, and they seemed to miss more attacks than not.
The character balance is horrible, too, so you could pick any 2 of Terryman, Warsman, and Buffaloman to breeze through most matches as long as you have a booster ball.
Final Score
Overall, I give Tag Team Match M.U.S.C.L.E. a 4/10. As a fan of Kinnikuman, I wanted to like this game, but I just couldn’t. I can’t recommend it, but if you want it for your collection, it’s about $18 loose. Well, unless you are planning to buy the Japanese-only Gold Cartridge. Back in 2009, it sold for over $10,000. I can’t imagine the price now. Of course, that was from a tournament, and only 8 copies were made.
